Giving Beyond Personal Gratification
By Koriane
It was a bit of a revelation to me when I was told, “Thank you. You’ve made me feel loved.” I guess somehow in my subconscious I thought that to make others feel the Lord’s love I had to feel the surge of it flowing through me out to them. I must have missed a lesson in that grade. The fact was, I was just going through the motions to do someone a favor, in response to their request for help with something. I was their only option. I didn’t feel any special motivation or particular spark, and certainly no pulsating “love” empowering me.
At first it puzzled me. How does that work? How can someone feel the Lord’s love through our actions, when we, the giver, feel no spark of it, but do it out of the “duty of love,” just going through the motions in obedience to the principles of God’s Word?
However, when thinking about myself and how I feel when others are there for me, it’s no mystery. Do I assume that when someone responds to my requests for help that they only do it if they have a gushing feeling of love ‘n’ compassion? Or are they often just being Jesus’ transmitter to lend a helping hand, whether they feel the love pulsating or not? Yet, I feel Jesus’ love through their action, regardless of their love feelings or lack of them. I take it as from the Lord.
I have felt Jesus’ love in a million ways throughout my life, and I’m grateful to the countless souls who have pitched in their two cents and more along the way, who have helped and sustained me and gotten me this far. It’s humbling to realize that there’s a good chance that most of the time it was just out of love for the Lord and obedience to His Word and His leading that they demonstrated that love in action. Love is a verb—not just an emotion.
Jesus had a personal heart-to-heart talk with me yesterday. I began to realize how selfish it is to choose to primarily exert energy and give of myself and my time to only the things that bring some sort of personal gratification. I mentally went through all the “giving” I do each day—which I thought was nearly nonstop. But in reality there aren’t that many situations where I compel myself to give in a way that I expect nothing at all in return, no feeling of gratification whatsoever. Even cleaning the dirty bathroom floor gives me back the reward of a cheery environment; or standing on my feet cooking for hours for a special occasion—I get to eat it too, and of course I chose a menu that I would enjoy, as a way to inspire myself. Would I give the same energy and time if I truly received nothing in return in this lifetime, or at least not immediately?
What gift of love can I give to others today, something that would mean a lot to them, something that makes them feel a big hug of encouragement from Jesus—even if I don’t feel the smallest spark of joy in it initially? He calls me to be His hands and body, His tongue, eyes and ears on earth for those who need to know He cares. He can be the one to always feel the waves of compassion, and those I help can get to experience the emotions of love received; my job is just to be the conduit, whether I feel great about doing it or not.
I’ll look today for new opportunities to give love—in ways that are “outside the box” of my personal shallow well of love. The degree of love they feel in return doesn’t hinge on my human fickle feelings, but rather if I’m in sync with doing what the Lord and His Word are calling me to do, and I’m willing to do it with enthusiasm and a bit of flair if I dare.
That’s all He’s asking when He says to “love one another.” The rewarding rush and rapture of doing a deed of love can be felt in the land of love above, where I’ll be more capable of enjoying higher levels of joy.
Moments after writing the above, my first chance came—my opportunity to give beyond personal gratification. Would we let someone stay at our small house for an additional three months? It has already been over a year, when the original request made was for just a month or two. Close quarters and a single shared bathroom, among other things, can have its challenging moments.
Then I remembered! The lights began blinking in my mind, the angels compelling, “This is your chance to give without any form of gratification in return! The Lord will be the one to repay.” So I cheerfully said yes, and immediately felt a sense of satisfaction—like I’d just marked off one of the most important “to-dos” of the day.
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