December 8, 2021

A Blue Christmas Turned White

By Curtis Peter van Gorder

If you are feeling lonely this Christmas, you are not alone. Sad Christmas songs are popular because they strike a responsive chord in many.

For many, Christmas this year will be tinged with the loss of a loved one or companion. Decorating the tree and all of the holiday traditions just aren’t the same when you are by yourself and everyone else is enjoying their family and friends. As the classic song “Blue Christmas” goes: “It won’t be the same, dear, if you’re not here with me.”¹

But how widespread is loneliness at this festive time of year? Statistics tell us that nearly half a million older people in the UK will be alone at Yuletide, and that 800,000 are “chronically lonely.”²

Chronic loneliness is more than just being on your own. It means that you feel isolated without support from others over a long period of time. We can be surrounded by people and yet still be lonely. This isolation can be self-imposed due to inhibitions or a lack of communication skills. Some are shut-ins due to physical challenges. In any case, this seclusion can cause feelings of low self-worth, depression, or stress.

For many, TV has become their main source of solace. I remember the sad feeling I had when I visited my mom when she was in her 80s and I saw how much time she spent watching TV. It had become her chief companion and it was on continuously. Adding to the irony was that she was binge-watching house and garden renovation shows—something that she could never do herself.

“All the lonely people, where do they all come from?” sings Paul McCartney in his song “Eleanor Rigby,”³ which is about a lonely older woman who died alone without anyone noticing.

Paul recounts that this song was inspired by his experiences as a young boy, “When I was really little I lived in a housing estate where a lot of old ladies lived. I enjoyed sitting around with them because they had these great stories about World War II. I used to visit one lady in particular and go shopping for her—you know, she couldn’t get out. So I had that figure in my mind of a sort of lonely old lady. Over the years, I’ve met a couple of others, and maybe their loneliness made me empathize with them. So I started this song about the lonely old lady who picks up the rice in the church, who never really gets the dreams in her life.”⁴

Something we might draw from McCartney’s experiences is how older people enjoy being around young people and telling their stories to them. The older generation has so much they can pass on to the next generation. The younger generation can also benefit from the wisdom and experiences of their elders. I remember the influence an older artist had on me when I would visit her. It seemed I could share with her things that I couldn’t with my friends or parents. The younger generation can benefit so much from those who have already walked far down life’s long highway.

When our family lived in Japan, we formed a singing group of our children and their friends to visit a home for the elderly during the Christmas season. The highlight of the program was that after the performance, they would mingle with the elderly folks and talk to them and give them a hug and a small gift. Some of the seniors remarked that as we came regularly every year, they eagerly looked forward to our visit throughout the year. It seems we were amongst the few visitors some of them had.

What can we do to alleviate others’ loneliness or even our own this Christmas? Here are some tips I found in an article that you might find helpful too:

1. Reach out to those around you. Maybe you have a neighbor who has no family nearby or you know of a friend who would love to invite you over if they knew you were feeling so alone. Take the first step of being with others by reaching out to them. Give yourself an opportunity to safely be with people and be a gift to others this season.

2. Help those in need. There are plenty of ways to help those in your community this time of year. Whether volunteering at a local food pantry or sending Christmas cards, actively find an activity that you’re passionate about and show up. Put yourself out there for the sake of others, being a good steward of the gifts that God has given you. And you may be surprised at the community you create through helping others.

3. Let the presence of Jesus fill your heart. Take this time of less distraction from social activities to get to know your Savior even more. Read His Word and seek Him to see what He wants to teach you during this time.

4. Pray for others. If you hear of someone else going through a rough time, stop and pray for that person right then. And don’t be afraid to ask for prayer for yourself.

5. Get out of the house where possible. There are all sorts of different Christmas activities to enjoy this time of year—[caroling and] concerts, candlelight services, and Christmas light shows. Join in on the festivities in adoration of our Savior.⁵

As Billy Graham said, “The most important thing I can tell you is that we are never alone when we know Christ.”

¹ See the animation of Elvis’ song “Blue Christmas” and Elvis performing with Martina McBride.

² Age UK estimates that 450,000 older people will be alone this Christmas. And the Campaign to End Loneliness says 800,000 older people in England are “chronically lonely,” almost three million are lonely, and five million regard television as their main form of company.

³ Paul singing “Eleanor Rigby.” Another version sung by Ray Charles.

⁴ Paul McCartney 2018 interview with GQ.

⁵ From Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: https://billygraham.org/story/are-you-lonely-this-christmas.

Posted in: altruism, christmas, giving, guest contribution, love, mission