November 8, 2017

Practicing Empathy

By Joyce Suttin

I was watching an interview last Sunday, and the guest was asked, “What is the greatest need in the world today?” Without hesitation, he responded, “Empathy. The world needs more empathy.”

I probably would have responded, without thinking, that the world needs more love. But I liked his answer. It was much more specific to say that the world needs more empathy.

Empathy is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Empathy is giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Empathy is realizing that everyone has their story. Empathy helps us listen more and advise less. It helps us strive for understanding and eschew judgment.

I recently joined an exercise group. I was nervous as I walked in, but knew I had to try to be friendly with the people I met there. As I took a chair near a woman, I turned to smile at her, but was only met with a grimace which disconcerted me. She stayed on my mind during the class, as I wondered if she didn’t want me to sit there, or if I had somehow unwittingly done something to bother her.

Then I remembered another friend I had gotten to know named Judy. When I first saw her in my neighborhood, I tried to be friendly. She barely responded or spoke to me. After months of trying to interact with her, she finally talked with me and explained that she had severe back problems, and walking was so painful she could hardly speak. After her surgery and recovery, we have come to be good friends. She taught me not to make judgments about people. They are often going through things we could not even imagine. Judy taught me a good lesson about empathy.

In today’s world, in which people are quick to comment and judge situations that are flashed across their computers, we need more empathy. When it is too common to condemn, bully, and badmouth people we do not take time to understand, we need more empathy. When we allow fear to build walls between us, we need more empathy. When we want to allow Jesus to have more control in our lives and in our thoughts, we need more empathy.

Some quotes on empathy

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?—Henry David Thoreau

Empathy and social skills are social intelligence, the interpersonal part of emotional intelligence. That’s why they look alike. A prerequisite to empathy is simply paying attention to the person in pain.—Daniel Goleman

Empathy begins with understanding life from another person’s perspective. Nobody has an objective experience of reality. It’s all through our own individual prisms.—Sterling K. Brown

Empathy is born out of the old biblical injunction “Love thy neighbor as thyself.”—George McGovern

We must broaden the definition of who our neighbors are, and extend the boundaries of our interest and empathy.—Wendy Kopp

Some Bible verses about empathy

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.—Romans 12:15¹

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.—Ephesians 4:32

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.—Matthew 7:12

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”—John 15:12

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.—1 Peter 3:8

Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, [as though] you also are in the body.—Hebrews 13:3

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.—Colossians 3:12–14

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.—2 Corinthians 1:3–4

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?—Micah 6:8

¹ Scriptures are from the ESV.

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