March 13, 2013
As with every aspect of our walk with the Lord, prayer is, and always will be, an endless learning experience. If there is anything that a life of prayer has taught me, it is that God’s ways are truly higher than ours. We often approach Him in prayer, thinking we have a pretty good idea of what we want or need. Many times this is true and we receive the exact answer we’re requesting. But what about the times when we request something and in response we are given the exact opposite? When this happened to me, I was left with a gnawing uneasiness for some time, which caused my prayer life to take a nosedive. But Jesus, in His faithfulness, cleared it all up like no one else could.
It all started when I was 13. Our family was living in the U.S. with several fellow laborers in the faith. One of them, a dear woman who I will call M., was diagnosed with an advanced case of cancer. Her chances of survival were slim. My family and I, along with many others, held daily desperate prayer vigil for her healing. She miraculously pulled through and is still living today.
When my mother was diagnosed with the same type of cancer several years later and not given any better chance of survival, M. was a constant source of encouragement for her. She regularly assured us all that it was but a small thing for the Lord to bring Mom through, were this His plan. I took great courage and hope in M.’s words.
One day while we were gathered in prayer for Mom’s healing, the Lord brought to M.’s remembrance a verse she had hung on to during her illness, which was marvelously fulfilled. It was a statement Jesus made in John 11:4, upon hearing the news that Lazarus was sick: “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.”
This promise caused my hopes to soar even higher. I held fast to it, even when Mom developed a blood clot on Thanksgiving Day and was only given 24 hours to live. When she stabilized some and was put in hospice care, I continued to hope. I clung to this hope until the very last minute, when she finally passed away a couple of months later.
During the aftermath of our bereavement, I managed to remain fairly composed outwardly. But inwardly I was confused and at a loss for explanations as to the way things had turned out. Hadn’t we been specifically told that Mom’s “sickness was not unto death?” What of all the prayers for her healing? Had they gone to waste?
Several weeks passed before I could muster up the courage to bring my questions before the Lord and seek His answers. I finally decided to at least give it a try and began to pour out my heart to Jesus. Then I waited silently. I had not been waiting long before His presence began to flood the room, and I felt His words speak to my heart.
He said that Mom had been presented with the tough choice between remaining with us and going to be with the Lord. She had been told that the latter would turn out most beneficial for all in the long run, even though it seemed like the most difficult choice at the moment. Having submitted to God’s highest will, she was now with Him. Meanwhile, I was assured that not a single prayer that was prayed on her behalf had gone unheard by Jesus.
I came to understand how wonderful the Lord is in allowing us the freedom to make decisions, and operating according to what we decide, just as with the city of Nineveh in the story of Jonah. When Jonah was commanded to warn Nineveh of its imminent destruction, he did so, failing to take into account the possibility that the people of Nineveh could choose to repent and turn from their wicked ways. When they did, causing God to change His mind and spare them, Jonah was displeased. But that day he came to see a side of God that, it seems, he had not previously known. I was also reminded of God’s words in Isaiah 55:8–9: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Although I knew beyond doubt that the answers I’d received were true, it took a great deal of surrender on my part to believe and accept them. In all honesty, this process took a total of eight years. But when I finally accepted all that had happened and learned to give thanks to Jesus for it, the grave lost its victory and death lost its sting. Furthermore, Jesus gave me the gift of healing, renewing my faith to pray for the sick and trust Him for the answers. He still continues to use this gift for His glory.
The new attitude that I was given, of thankfulness and acceptance of God’s higher ways, is clearly expressed in a song I recently heard for the first time. It is by Steven Curtis Chapman and its title is “Higher Ways.”
Your higher ways teach me to trust You.
Your higher ways are not like mine.
Your higher ways are the ways of the Father
Hiding His children in His love.
Someday I will fly and
Maybe then You will take me aside
And show me the bigger picture.
But until I'm with You
I'll be here with a heart that is true
And a soul that's resting on
Your higher ways.
(Editor: You can find the full lyrics here. And here’s a YouTube Link to listen to the song.)
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