June 12, 2024
There’s a fine line between cockiness and confidence. Someone who is cocky makes you want to avoid them, lest you be subjected to their tales of greatness and feats of accomplishments. They put others down and generally have to “best” anyone talking by coming up with equal or greater stories of their own.
Confidence is something quite different. I think the people whose company I most enjoy are those who are content with who they are; they know their own weaknesses and strengths and are appreciative of others’ talents and contributions. I find that confidence also comes through experiencing rough times and seeing the Lord come through for you. You realize that the good things about you really are only the Lord.
I was reading about Joseph the other day, and the stories of his life are some of my favorite Bible stories. Not only because his seeming tragedy has a happy ending, but also because it’s a story about how God can use someone to fulfill His purposes in a big way, even if they make mistakes.
Joseph was picked out as special, starting at a young age, and obviously his brothers didn’t appreciate it, especially when he started rubbing it in their faces (Genesis 37:3–10). His brothers sold him into slavery (Genesis 37:18–28), and he went from being at the top of his game (daddy’s favorite) to the lowest rung of society (a slave in the house of Potiphar). Before he was appointed to the head of Potiphar’s household, any confidence he had in himself and his place as his father’s preferred son most likely faded as he had to obey orders and perform the most menial jobs. And that wasn’t all; even after his glorified position as a slave, his reputation was marred by Potiphar’s wife, which resulted in his landing in prison and then really becoming the scum of society (Genesis 39).
Imagine being treated by your father as his favorite and receiving a dream of how great you’ll be one day, and how many wonderful things are in store for you, and probably feeling pretty good about yourself. Then one day everything gets taken away—not just physical things, but also things that are much more important than we sometimes know how to appreciate, such as respect, love, friends, family, and a place where you feel at home. You become a stranger and you have to prove yourself in everything you do. This didn’t happen just once to Joseph; it happened twice!
Joseph couldn’t place any confidence in himself or brag about his coat, his father, much less his position at Potiphar’s house (or even the warden position he acquired after being in prison for some time). All he could truly trust in was his faith that God had not abandoned him and that He had a plan and would help him get through the difficult times. The writer of Genesis gives such direct credit to the Lord for Joseph’s successes.
“But the LORD was with Joseph and showed him mercy, and He gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison. And the keeper of the prison committed to Joseph’s hand all the prisoners who were in the prison; whatever they did there, it was his doing. The keeper of the prison did not look into anything that was under Joseph’s authority, because the LORD was with him; and whatever he did, the LORD made it prosper” (Genesis 39:21–23).
After interpreting the dreams of the butler and baker who were thrown into prison, Joseph accurately told them that the baker would die in three days and that the butler would return and work for Pharaoh after the same timeframe (Genesis 40). Joseph asked the butler to remember him when these things came to pass. “Yet,” Genesis 40:23 says, “the chief butler did not remember Joseph, but forgot him.” He didn’t just forget him, he forgot him for two years!
Still, this didn’t shake Joseph’s faith in God. I think that at this point he was so aware of God’s care and direction that God saw he was ready to take on the praise-worthy role of being Pharaoh’s right-hand man.
Later, Joseph uses great wisdom and confidence when he interprets Pharaoh’s dream. Pharaoh said to Joseph, “I have had a dream, and there is no one who can interpret it. But I have heard it said of you that you can understand a dream, to interpret it.”
And Joseph answers Pharaoh, saying, “It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh an answer of peace” (Genesis 41:15–16). Joseph responds with that calm surety—that confidence—that you get when you truly learn to depend on God.
Joseph definitely experienced the lows and highs of life serving the Lord, which is something I think helps keep all of us in touch with reality. The best low-and-high experience I had was when I was living in Uganda and we went to work with the former child soldiers in Gulu, the same kids you see in the movie, Machine Gun Preacher.1 We brought tons of donated food and showed the movie Jesus 2 with a running Acholi translator. We had to use a generator to show the movie on a projector as there was no electricity.
We stayed in one of the “nicer” huts, which was literally a big mud circle of a concrete wall and a floor with an aluminum roof. The toilet was a separate little outhouse, complete with (what I counted one day) 18 spiders of all shapes and sizes. In the evening they brought us one jerry can of boiling hot water and one of cold water, and we had to mix it in a third bucket and take our showers behind the hut, under the stars in the junkyard. We ate a lot of interesting food, including trying a paste made of blended termites that they love to eat on bread. Not my favorite.
After a few days there, my friend and I had to rush back to Kampala, the capital of Uganda. Some good friends of ours—who were the directors of the main telecom company—were leaving Uganda and we were invited to their big good-bye function at the Sheraton with the who’s who of Uganda. We had to quickly wash off all the dust from the trip, change into evening gowns, and go mingle with ridiculously wealthy people. We went from blended termite paste to enjoying a multi-course dinner and watching the two biggest celebrity singers in the country perform. It was mind-boggling but awesome; picturing ourselves all covered in dust just hours before meant we couldn’t really let the VIP treatment go to our heads.
A lot of men and women of God went through pretty low times before they were ready to fulfill God’s calling in their lives. Like King David living in caves, running for his life (1 Samuel 22:1), or Daniel being abducted before becoming the personal counselor to several kings.3.
Paul said in Philippians, “I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need” (Philippians 4:11–12). In the very next verse he gives the secret to doing so, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). He knew it wasn’t his own strength or willpower.
There is a quote that I really like. It says, “God only uses broken men and women; no others will do.” How often do you want to open your heart or share your troubles with somebody who makes it a point to show you how wonderful they think they are? Even if they dole out helpful hints and tips on improving your situation, it can be a little hard to swallow, and you wonder if they truly understand your problems.
An easy way to check yourself to make sure that you’re portraying the Lord’s confidence rather than your own cockiness is to keep tabs on how many of your sentences start with the words “I” or “my.” If they pop up often, it’s an indication that you may be a little self-centered. Taking time to ask yourself, some trustworthy friends, and God whether you could stand to be a little less cocky, and then making the necessary changes, are good steps toward becoming the person that God wants you to be.
Cockiness often stems from insecurity and the need to prove yourself to others. The best part is that once you let go of that insecurity and place your security in the Lord, you’ll learn to be happy for others’ accomplishments and be a listening ear to others. And because of this, you’ll find people genuinely start to enjoy your company more, which in turn gives you the confidence to go out and fulfill God’s plan and purpose for your life, like Joseph did.
Adapted from a Just1Thing podcast, a Christian character-building resource for young people.
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