The Serenity Prayer

November 20, 2019

By Sally García

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Recently I found a small book written by a Christian therapist about the Serenity Prayer, attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr, a twentieth-century theologian. The Serenity Prayer is prayed daily all over the world by those who participate in Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step recovery programs. I have great respect for the Alcoholics Anonymous program because it has been adapted and used to help people with all types of dependencies and addictions with wonderful results, including within my own family.

I decided to pray this prayer each day for the next six months so that I can fully meditate on its meaning. Though I began only a few weeks ago, this prayer is already showing me new perspectives on my day, and on my life in general.

I’d like to share some of the things I have gleaned from the book, as well as my own meditations. Here is the way I break down the prayer:

God. I pause a second and take a breath to contemplate the reality of who I am addressing, my God.

Grant me. This is my way of acknowledging my two-way relationship with my Creator. Niebuhr believed that the way we understand God directly affects the way we understand ourselves and the actions that we take in life. When I say the words grant me, I feel that I am coming with confidence to the God who loves me and delights to give me the spiritual fortitude and wisdom that I need for the day.

Serenity. This serenity comes not from the absence or denial of problems but from knowing that despite my circumstances and situations, God will give me peace as He guides me today.

To accept the things I cannot change. This is the line of the prayer that has been the greatest revelation to me. I have battled off and on with remorse over certain wrong decisions that are now irremediable. I have replayed them in my mind over and over, wishing that I had known back then what I know now. If I would have known how certain actions were going to play out, I would have done several things differently. On top of it, the loved ones that I would like to make amends with are no longer present in this world. These events are under the category of things I cannot change.

What’s more, even the smaller decisions of yesterday or the previous hours of today have already happened and now cannot be relived.

Through this prayer I am coming to grips with the reality that these mental replays are futile. I must accept the things I cannot change and go from there. With this prayer, my starting point is the present, and I direct myself toward the future.

Courage. As I am moving into life, not away from it, facing my fears and the challenges before me, I have asked God to grant me this courage.

To change the things I can. Now that I am coming to understand that I can only operate in the present, I am empowered because I have asked God for His help. And my mind is free of the mental clutter that I deal with when I am mixing past decisions with current challenges. I can be open to the creativity of the Holy Spirit as I seek for solutions to change the things I can.

And wisdom to know the difference. I have asked for courage, and now I will ask Him for His leadings and guidance as I sort out possibilities and plans. Little by little I am being released from fatalism, and the futility of feeling stuck with the “what’s the use, it’s too late now” attitude that tries to creep up on me when I get muddled in the many things I cannot change. I believe that the Lord will answer this prayer literally by giving me wisdom to know what I can do and the grace and strength that I need for the necessary steps toward each challenge I face.

This prayer surely has as many different meanings and nuances as it has people praying it each day. Most likely during my six-month prayer challenge I will discover many more things about myself, my God, and this journey of life that we are exploring together. I hope to deepen my relationship with Him and am most grateful that He cares about me personally and is here to help me sort out my daily challenges.

I am most blessed.