August 19, 2014
The time that you spend with your children is prime time. You’re on stage, so to speak, influencing and teaching them by your words and behavior—whether you want to or not. So, in parent-child relationships, just spending time together is not enough. To make that time meaningful, it needs to be quality time. Careful thought and planning is a prerequisite for successful parenting. …
Quality time together is one of the most important factors in building healthy and wholesome parent-child relationships. Quality time together may be a noisy family celebration, a quiet evening at home listening to [your] daughter practice her music, a sleepless night nursing a fevered child, a holiday spent cleaning out the garage together, or an hour spent in animated discussion. Whatever the activity, quality time together should convey such important messages as: “I love you,” “I want to be close to you,” “I enjoy you,” “You’re fun to be with.” …
Every family benefits by setting aside a regularly scheduled family time. … When you begin to schedule quality time together, it is important that you and your child do things that have meaning. List your family’s favorite activities. Brainstorm them. Then rank these items from the most important to the least important. Finally, schedule the activities that you consider high priority. If you schedule only the easiest activities, or those that take the least effort or time, you might miss the most important ones.—Dr. Kay Kuzma1
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We can get so caught up in our state of endless busyness and frantic schedules and time-paced lives that we forget that what really counts most with our kids are those simple little things we do that make their homes fun, comfortable, and happy places. The following questions will help you reflect on how well you’re meeting that objective.
1. What would your child say is the best part of living in your home? What are the best traditions you do together that are so fun she’ll want to carry them on with her own child? The bottom line: What kind of memories are you creating for your children in your day-to-day existence?
2. What do you think your own kids would say is the one thing they wish they could change about your family? Could you make that change? What’s stopping you?
3. When is the last time your family sat and just giggled and laughed? When is the last time you remember your family doing absolutely nothing [together]?
4. What is one simple tradition or family routine you want to do to have fun with your family? Write it down. Then get ready to use it with your family.
Suppose your children were asked what one thing they really wish they could change about your family. That very question was asked of eighty-four thousand students in grades six through twelve who completed a USA Weekend survey. What do you think most of the kids said? (Chances are it’s the same thing your own kids would say, so think hard.)
It turns out that almost two-thirds of kids surveyed said they wished they could spend more time with their parents. In fact, more than two in five kids feel that time with their moms is rushed. What the kids said they wanted was not just more time, but more relaxed time. The kind of time a kid would consider as just plain “fun.” No expectations. No stress. No frantic pace. Just relaxed, good ol’ fun. It’s the kind of time that creates family togetherness. That relaxed, carefree time is also what our kids crave and need.—Michele Borba2
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Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.—Matthew 25:403
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One day before long, your children will be grown and gone. You’ll be thankful then that you gave them what they needed when they were growing up. … So during those hours in the night while you are keeping watch over a sick child, smiling when you want to cry, singing as you pray for patience, wiping little noses while you dream of someday doing great things for God, just remember that you are. You will never regret one prayer, one song, one loving word. Each small act of love reaches out to [your children] and touches them for eternity. After all the years of taking it all by faith, someday you—like me—will be blessed at seeing what they have become.—Derek and Michelle Brooks4
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As the saying goes:
“What I do today is very important because
I’m exchanging a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone, forever,
leaving something in its place I have traded for it.
I want it to be gain, not loss; good, not evil;
success, not failure; in order that I shall not
regret the price I paid for it.”
That’s doubly true for you who are caring for your children. It’s not only an hour, or a few hours, or a day of your life, it’s an hour or two or a day of their lives as well.
What are you filling their minds, hearts, and lives with? It’s not only about ensuring that they are learning their academic lessons. It’s about the love you show them, the example you impart, your manner with them, your attitude, your smile, and much more.
What will your children take away from this day? Will it add to the foundation of their life? Will you know in your heart that you traded that day of your life well, because of what it resulted in or added to the lives of your children? You may not always see that your efforts are making a difference. Some days you will, but other days are tough. In those times, look at your little ones. You are investing the days of your life in them. You are trading your time, your life, your love, your skills, for lasting dividends in their lives.—Jesus, speaking in prophecy
Published on Anchor August 2014. Read by Jon Marc.
1 Prime-Time Parenting (Rawson, Wade Publishers, 1980).
2 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know (Jossey-Bass, 2006).
3 NIV.
4 Power for Parenthood (Aurora Production AG, 2001).
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